On Technology and Identity

Suggested listening for this post: The Veldt by Deadmau5

So this might be kind of a weird one. A bit abstract, and more than likely pretty incoherent. But it might be kind of fun/thought provoking, so let's do it anyway.

So, in League of Legends, there is a special skin for one of the characters, and one of the quotes for it is 'in darkness, I am truly alive'. Kind of a silly quote for a character that's supposed to be all dark and evil and edgy, but for some reason, it got me thinking. Well, it was thanks mostly I guess to the fact that there was a blackout from the big rain storm yesterday, which lasted for about three and a half hours, in the evening. So, I actually did spend a while in the darkness, and noticed something kind of weird.

While the power was out, I felt...off somehow. Like, uncomfortable, and a bit irritable. Granted, I still had my phone and my laptop, but god only knew how long the blackout would last, so I didn't want to waste any batteries. Essentially, I was technology-free. But even still, I wasn't bored - I had a book and a flashlight to read it by. But then, why didn't I feel right?

Well, later that night after the power had come back on, I was thinking about it a bit. It occurred to me that with all technology gone, you have nothing to idly distract yourself. You are really just there, with nothing to hide behind from who you really are. And, I guess that can be kind of uncomfortable, depending on what kind of person you are. Or maybe it just is for everyone, I guess I wouldn't know, haha. So, in a manner of speaking, in the darkness, with no distractions, is when we are truly the most alive.

And of course, technology isn't the only thing that can distract us from ourselves - we have books, and games, and other hobbies to pursue. But technology just makes it so much easier, doesn't it? Like, with a TV or computer, you can just put on a show, or a movie, or a stream, and sit back and not really think about anything at all. It's certainly nice and relaxing, but what is it what is it really doing to us, mentally?

Well, that's where the identity part comes in. It feels to me like one could easily lose their identity to technology. Of course there's the sci-fi idea of like, uploading one's consciousness to a computer or something, and that's a bit more literal than what I mean, but it's kind of the same. Because if we're always invested in this technology that's all around us, we never really have the time to sit and just think about ourselves - who we are, and for younger people, what that even means. I know that I myself was struggling a bit with the idea of 'who I am', for a long time I didn't even really understand what that meant. I do now, after speaking to a counselor and doing some work on it, but a lot of people these days probably don't have that opportunity.

So, I mean, this isn't really a call to action, or a rally against technology or anything like that. It's just something that I was thinking about, and thought it was kind of interesting - that in stealing up all our time and attention, technology is kind of metaphorically sucking in our own selves at the same time. The solution seems easy enough, to just take some time to think specifically about ourselves and who we are, but how easy is that really? I dunno!

Anyway, that's about all I have to say for that. In other news, a new gameplay trailer for Grand Theft Auto V came out today, and it actually looked pretty neat. I was completely disinterested in GTAIV after playing only a few hours of it, but this new one has caught my interest. It sounds like Rockstar is pouring a ton of effort into what will basically be this generation's swan song, and it looks like it's really paying off!